Pigs can't fly, but apparently they camp

The following is an open letter to the last people who camped at SHOE LAKE, in NOPIMING PROVINCIAL PARK just prior to the Labour Day weekend, 2010:

(Please note that the following program contains coarse language, and is not suitable for all viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.)

When we pulled up to the northernmost backcountry camping site on the north shore of Shoe Lake on Friday, September 3, 2010, we thought at first that the site must be occupied.  It was clear that the site was strewn with the personal belongings of what appeared to be a large group of people, however no tents or actual camping gear was visible. 

We soon realized that while there were no current inhabitants of the site, the most recent "campers" had left the site like a FUCKING PIGSTY!!!!!  There was garbage spread from one end of the site to the other and beyond.  Because it had rained all week, everything was soaked and stuck to the ground/table/trees, etc.  Let's see if I can provide a comprehensive list of the SHIT that we spent a fucking hour picking up just to make the site habitable:

• empty Budweiser bottles
• smashed Budweiser bottles
• empty beer cans - brand unknown, as they formed part of the fire pit sludge
• empty bottle of Bacardi rum
• empty bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade
• a pair of running shoes
• miscellaneous socks
• a Winnipeg Blue Bombers towel
• several towels and rags
• a deck of cards that had blown over the entire area
• a "Granny's" lime green re-usable grocery bag
• a garbage bag that was left behind and then torn into by animals, who appear to have proceeded to spread around rotten grapes, egg shells, watermelon pieces, a bag of marshmallows covered in wasps, a bag of frozen hashbrowns and who the fuck knows what else

Actually, I'm being generous in presuming that animals spread the garbage around - the way that campsite looked, I wouldn't have been surprised if the former campers had spread that shit around on their own.  The next morning we had to make a trip back to the boat launch just to dump off two massive bags of other peoples' garbage that we picked up.  We tried to clear out as much of the broken glass as we could so that our dog wouldn't cut his feet, but he still managed, one night, to find some of your left-behind shit and ate something that made him throw up FOUR TIMES the next day.  You people should be fined and banned from ever using that park again.

I find it hard to believe that mature adults with the means to reach a remote camping spot would have such a lack of respect for others that they would leave things in such a state.  Recognizing the abundance of alcoholic beverage containers strewn and smashed everywhere you looked, and the (poor) quality of the food left behind, I would dare to guess that the shit-storm was created by a group of young "adults."  Well, if your parents are proud of the people you've grown up to be, then your parents must be fucking pigs too.